Restlessness

 

Where does the path lead? Does it matter?

Home is quiet today reading all done

chicken in crockpot

lunch with friend in an hour

there is restlessness

I know pickleball mahjong lunches will get old

what am I (still) passionate about?

No desire to be docent

volunteer at gardens (done that disliked it)

hospital volunteer (done that too)

babysit (mixed bag)

stock food pantry

march as Keith does

I sense church is still where I am led

or is it just my comfort zone?

Keith asks are you sorry you retired

my answer is no

 not even ready to volunteer as short-term interim.

Actually church isn't comfort zone anymore

have trouble remembering names

my singing voice declining

difficulty seeing words in dim sanctuary

theological lectures

not even comfortable in Sunday school.

Months ago I told other ordained Cheryl at Massey’s

I want to be for a pastor

what she has been for me: friend

someone to talk things through

someone to fill in when I was sick or gone

I knew she could do anything in church and do it well.

I can see I will not be these things where I am

but

I also need want crave well-played hymns music

it’s how I worship

oh the music at Pittsboro is sublime.

Listen to this craziness

I could worship sing at 9 a.m. main service

visit around at 11 a.m. churches

especially struggling little ones

disrespected at charge conferences

God is still here!

might be interesting. 

Or not.

Dear Jesus would you like to weigh in?