Song Memories: A

 

2005 Graduation from Duke Divinity School

My ipod has become antique won’t play in new car

son-in-law Jonathan transferred songs to my phone

now they play in the car and everywhere else

haven’t listened to them in such a long time

many lyrics have meanings memories for me

as I drew closer to God

through divinity school

difficulties of ordination

early challenges of ministry

I’ll start in alphabetic order with “A”

maybe eventually I'll get farther than A.

 

“Always on My Mind” by Willie Nelson was a frequent prayer for me

as a pastor

in my mind I substituted “God” for “girl.”

Maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could have

maybe I didn't treat you quite as good as I should have

if I made you feel second best

God I'm sorry I was blind

you were always on my mind you were always on my mind.

 

“Amie” by Pure Prairie League seemed to play a lot

during difficulties of getting reinstated as candidate for ministry

I debated a lot:

do I stay with this horrible process or give it up?

Jim R (gift from God) kept me hanging in there

God seemed playfully to speak to me

through refrain of this song.

Amie (Cheryl), what you wanna do?

I think I could stay with you

for a while, maybe longer if I do.

 

“And That’s All I Know” by Art Garfunkle expressed well

what I often felt in Divinity School.

All my plans have fallen through

all my plans depend on you

depend on you to help them grow

I love you and that's all I know.

 

“Angel” by Sarah McLauchlan reminds me

of meanness lack of hospitality 

of ordination boards

seemed like God was speaking to me

it’s important to realize what are lies.

You spend all your time waiting for that second chance

for a break that would make it okay

there's always some reason to feel not good enough

and it's hard at the end of the day….

So tired of the straight lines and everywhere you turn

there's vultures and thieves at your back

the storm keeps on twisting

keeps on building the lies 

that you make up for all that you lack.

 

“Annie’s Song” by John Denver kept coming up

when I was enrolled in spiritual direction school

I read somewhere his wife said

it became like a prayer to him

yes I can see that.

You fill up my senses like a night in a forest

like the mountains in springtime like a walk in the rain

like a storm in the desert like a sleepy blue ocean

you fill up my senses

come fill me again.