My ipod has become antique
won’t play in new car
son-in-law Jonathan transferred songs to my phone
now they play in the
car and everywhere else
haven’t listened to
them in such a long time
many lyrics have
meanings memories for me
as I drew closer to God
through divinity school
difficulties of ordination
early challenges of ministry
I’ll start in
alphabetic order with “A”
maybe eventually I'll get farther than A.
“Always on My Mind” by
Willie Nelson was a frequent prayer for me
as a pastor
in my mind I substituted “God” for “girl.”
Maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could have
maybe I didn't treat you quite as good as I should have
if I made you feel second best
God I'm sorry I was
blind
you were always on my
mind you were always on my mind.
“Amie” by Pure Prairie
League seemed to play a lot
during difficulties of getting
reinstated as candidate for ministry
I debated a lot:
do I stay with this
horrible process or give it up?
Jim R (gift from God) kept me hanging
in there
God seemed playfully to speak to me
through refrain of
this song.
Amie (Cheryl), what you wanna do?
I think I could stay with you
for a while, maybe longer if I do.
“And That’s All I Know”
by Art Garfunkle expressed well
what I often felt in Divinity
School.
All my plans have fallen through
all my plans depend on you
depend on you to help them grow
I love you and that's all I know.
“Angel” by Sarah
McLauchlan reminds me
of meanness lack of hospitality
of ordination boards
seemed like God was
speaking to me
it’s important to
realize what are lies.
You spend all your time waiting for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always some reason to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day….
So tired of the straight lines and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
the storm keeps on
twisting
keeps on building the lies
that you make up for all that you lack.
“Annie’s Song” by John
Denver kept coming up
when I was enrolled in
spiritual direction school
I read somewhere his wife said
it became like a prayer
to him
yes I can see that.
You fill up my senses like a night in a forest
like the mountains in springtime like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert like a sleepy blue ocean
you fill up my senses
come fill me again.