Too Much Going On

 

Orange coneflowers in pollinator garden remind me of Blowing Rock

Charge conference Sunday evening at Parkwood

worried not many people would come

they came because I begged

sullen answering of DS questions by all three churches

Parkwood tried more valiantly than other two.

 

Last Sunday congregation was jittery about election

they will be worse this Sunday

genuinely afraid of violence

I cannot reassure them it won’t happen

but I say peace the world is still in God’s hands

am I saying peace peace when there is no peace?

 

This week I plan All-Saints Sunday

we will light three candles for members who died

none of whom had funeral or memorial service

seems to be a thing these days

cremation no service

I offered to let any worshiper

who had deceased family member this year

bring their own candle to light

table is petite in small space

I hope candles fit

and

I don’t set myself on fire

have to stand close for Communion

 

Once I almost did set my sleeve on fire

at New Bethel when lighting Advent candles.

 

This Saturday is clean-up day

in pollinator garden

we can’t afford expensive landscaper anymore

to prune throw branches into woods

I hope enough people come

followed by soup and bread lunch.

 

It’s all too much but what can you do?

only pray

and

show up.

Reflections on Age and Energy

 Pentecost 2024

Keith said it’s too bad

you were older and tired by the time

you got a good church

I replied I am like Sarah

who got pregnant at 90

too old to enjoy motherhood

thanks a lot God.

 

I told him Aldersgate

took what was left

sucked me dry

never got a break from trauma

heartbreak anger awful decisions

six months leading two churches

trying to learn Massey’s Chapel

while Aldersgate died.

 

Then came Covid

then came disaffiliations.

 

I overheard Keith telling neighbors

my first church had been really mean

caused me to cry a lot

turned off our children from church.

 

Three unhealthy churches

had too many problems

for one pastor

the Rougemont Charge

about blew me out like a candle

I remember praying

I can’t do this anymore God

that has been my prayer

as long as I’ve been in ministry.

 

For twenty years a devil has sat on my shoulder

whispering you could do more

for God’s kingdom

as a lay person in a healthy church.

 

Massey’s Chapel is anxious

over the possibility

of my retirement next June

it’s not that they love me so much

I am not warm and fuzzy

what I am is competent.

 

I told Keith

they are just anxious about the future

this is an anxious year in many ways

I could retire next year or five years from now

who knows what kind of pastor they would get.

Still God will be a part of it.

An Invitation

 Pastor stirring stew at Union Grove, 2013

Got a postcard in an envelope

return address Union Grove

opened with nervous hands

what could this be?

 

An invitation to church's

100^th anniversary celebration

the bishop will be there!

Saturday afternoon two weeks hence

would you please come

tell stories give memories send photos

also we need former field ed student email addresses

especially Savanna.

 

Pulled from bookcase printed journals like this one

I have been keeping forever

surprised I only wrote about Union Grove

in volume one

(devoted too much ink to Aldersgate)

have plenty of photos to share

here is Savanna’s email address.

 

I don’t want to go

avoid events when bishop will be there

plus new pastor is former member 

of Massey’s Chapel

ordained Baptist years ago

married our lay leader

took her off to be pastor’s wife

least favorite DS gave him

2-point charge in Rocky Mount

one of which disaffiliated

now they are in Bahama and Rougemont.

 

We don’t much like each other

the Baptist thing of course.

 

Found an appropriate story to read

about seeing God at work

I will attend because I should not avoid

special church events

and

I do love sweet Union Grove.