Hospital Volunteer

 

Friday was my first day volunteering in the gift shop at Duke Regional Hospital. Everyone asks: Why the gift shop? Why aren’t you volunteering as a chaplain? The gift shop seemed easier, I suppose. I wouldn’t mind being a volunteer chaplain at some point. I remember the summer chaplain gig being very difficult in Divinity school, but that was 20 years ago.

I’m not sure the gift shop is actually easier yet. I’m sure it will be once I get the hang of things.

There are a lot of things to do before someone is allowed to be a hospital volunteer. You have to take various on-line modules (including an active shooter module), then pass a quiz on each. I nearly flunked my active shooter module because I didn’t realize there would be a quiz, and I didn’t pay attention very well. I’m not sure how someone would get a gun in the building anyway since there is a metal detector to pass through at the main entrance.

Next came an in-person health check that included a blood test for measles and mumps antibodies, and a TB skin test. The nurse jammed a needle under my skin for the TB test, which created a small round bruise. When I returned several days later, she nearly shrieked at the sight of it. “It is NOT a positive TB test; it’s a bruise,” I growled. “Anything gives me a bruise these days.” On closer inspection, she agreed.

The blood test revealed that my mumps titers were low. Huh, really? I would have to receive the MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) vaccine because there is not a separate mumps shot, the nurse informed me. It’s a “live” vaccine, she said, which means I might feel bad for a day, get swollen lymph nodes and develop a rash, plus I could be contagious to anyone who is not vaccinated for mumps.

Like my unvaccinated grandchildren?

Yes, she replied, alarmed. Why aren’t they vaccinated?! Our daughter-in-law has her reasons, I replied. We don’t talk about it anymore.

So I had the MMR shot with no side effects, and I’m isolated from my grandchildren for a few weeks. It’s a two-shot series, so I have to get another one the end of September, along with another TB skin test. Hospital employees and volunteers are required to get the flu shot this fall. I’m sure we will have a Covid booster pushed on us, too. At least it’s all free of charge.

I wonder: How do they ever get enough volunteers, especially retired people? Maybe they don't.

Shots are one thing, but masks are another. If they bring back masking, I’ll be postponing volunteering until the mask mandate is once again lifted.